Dear Readers, As Salaamu Alaikum!
ALL PRAISES AND THANKS TO ALLAH, LORD OF THE WORLDS!!
If you have a bad temper, you get mad or upset, you try to move away from the situation, but still you feel miserable and feel like throwing things or hurting the person whom you are angry at. We want to control bad temper but many of us don’t know how.
Anger is one of the evil whispers of Shaytaan, which leads to so many evils and tragedies, of which only ALLAH knows their full extent. For this reason Islam has a great deal to say about this bad characteristic, and the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) described cures for this "disease" and ways to limit its effects which will be mentioned in this topic.
There are 12 easy ways to control temper. Due to the length of this article, the e-mail is divided in two parts. In today’s e-mail we will mention 6 ways to control Bad temper. In our next e-mail,tomorrow, In sha Allah, we will mention the remaining 6 ways.
(1) Seeking refuge with ALLAH from the Shaytaan:
Sulayman ibn Sard said: "I was sitting with the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam), and two men were slandering one another. One of them was red in the face, and the veins on his neck were standing out. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said, ‘I know a word which, if he were to say it, what he feels would go away. If he said "I seek refuge with ALLAH from the Shaytaan," what he feels (i.e., his anger) would go away.’" (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 6/337)
The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "If a man gets angry and says, ‘I seek refuge with ALLAH,’ his anger will go away." (Saheeh al-Jaami’ al-Sagheer, no. 695)
(2) Keeping silent:
The Messenger of ALLAH (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent." (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, al-Musnad, 1/329; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 693, 4027).
This is because in most cases, the angry person loses self control and could utter words of kufr/disbelief (from which we seek refuge with ALLAH ), or curses, or the word of divorce (talaaq) which would destroy his home, or words of slander which would bring him the enmity and hatred of others. So, in short, keeping silent is the solution which helps one to avoid all that.
(3) Not moving:
The Messenger of ALLAH (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "If any of you becomes angry and he is standing, let him sit down, so his anger will go away; if it does not go away, let him lie down."
The narrator of this hadeeth (report) is Abu Dharr (may ALLAH be pleased with him), and there is a story connected to his telling of it: he was taking his camels to drink at a trough that he owned, when some other people came along and said (to one another), "Who can compete with Abu Dharr (in bringing animals to drink) and make his hair stand on end?" A man said, "I can," so he brought his animals and competed with Abu Dharr, with the result that the trough was broken. [i.e., Abu Dharr was expecting help in watering his camels, but instead the man misbehaved and caused the trough to be broken]. Abu Dharr was standing, so he sat down, then he laid down. Someone asked him, "O Abu Dharr, why did you sit down then lie down?" He said: "The Messenger of ALLAH (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: . . ." and quoted the hadeeth. (The hadeeth and this story may be found in Musnad Ahmad, 5/152; also Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 694).
According to another report, Abu Dharr was watering his animals at the trough, when another man made him angry, so he sat down . . . (Fayd al-Qadeer, al-Manaawi, 1/408)
Among the benefits of this advice given by the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) is the fact that it prevents the angry person from going out of control, because he could strike out and injure someone, or even kill - or he could destroy possessions and so on. Sitting down makes it less likely that he will become overexcited, and lying down makes it even less likely that he will do something crazy or harmful. Al-’Allaamah al-Khattaabi, may ALLAH have mercy on him, said in his commentary on Abu Dawud: "One who is standing is in a position to strike and destroy, while the one who is sitting is less likely to do that, and the one who is lying down can do neither. It is possible that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) told the angry person to sit down or lie down so that he would not do something that he would later regret. And ALLAH knows best." (Sunan Abi Dawud, with Ma’aalim al-Sunan, 5/141)
(4) Following the advice of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam):
Abu Hurayrah, may ALLAH be pleased with him, reported that a man said to the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam), "Advise me." He said, "Do not become angry." The man repeated his request several times, and each time the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) told him, "Do not become angry." (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath al-Bari, 10/456)
According to another report, the man said: "I thought about what the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said, and I realized that anger combines all kinds of evil." (Musnad Ahmad, 5/373)
(5) Do not become angry and Paradise will be yours (a saheeh (authentic) hadeeth, see Saheeh al-Jaami’, 7374. Ibn Hijr attributed it to al-Tabaraani, see al-Fath 4/465):
Remembering what ALLAH has promised to the righteous (muttaqeen) who keep away from the causes of anger and struggle within themselves to control it, is one of the most effective ways of extinguishing the flames of anger. One of the ahaadeeth that describe the great reward for doing this is: "Whoever controls his anger at the time when he has the means to act upon it, ALLAH will fill his heart with contentment on the Day of Resurrection." (Reported by al-Tabaraani, 12/453, see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 6518).
Another great reward is described in the Prophet’s words: "Whoever controls his anger at the time when he has the means to act upon it, ALLAH will call him before all of mankind on the Day of Resurrection, and will let him choose of the Hur al-’Iyn whoever he wants." (Reported by Abu Dawud, 4777, and others. It is classified as hasan (sound) in Saheeh al-Jaami, 6518).
(6) Knowing the high status and advantages offered to those who control themselves:
The Messenger of ALLAH (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "The strong man is not the one who can overpower others (in wrestling); rather, the strong man is the one who controls himself when he gets angry." (Reported by Ahmad, 2/236; the hadeeth is agreed upon). The greater the anger, the higher the status of the one who controls himself. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "The strongest man is the one who, when he gets angry and his face reddens and his hackles rise, is able to defeat his anger." (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 5/367, and classified as hasan in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3859)
Anas reported that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) passed by some people who were wrestling. He asked, "What is this?" They said: "So-and-so is the strongest, he can beat anybody." The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said, "Shall I not tell you who is even stronger than him? The man who, when he is mistreated by another, controls his anger, has defeated his own shaytaan and the shaytaan of the one who made him angry." (Reported by al-Bazzaar, and Ibn Hijr said its isnaad is saheeh. Al-Fath, 10/519)
(continued in our next e-mail In sha Allah) ...
With Best Wishes
