Dear Readers, As Salaamu Alaikum!
ALL PRAISES AND THANKS TO ALLAH, LORD OF THE WORLDS!!
Anger is one of the evil whispers of Shaytaan, which leads to so many evils and tragedies, of which only ALLAH knows their full extent. For this reason Islam has a great deal to say about this bad characteristic, and the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) described cures for this "disease" and ways to limit its effects which have been mentioned in this topic.
There are 12 easy ways to control temper. Yesterday in our e-mail, we mentioned 6 ways to control Bad Temper. Today in this mail, we will mention the remaining 6 ways.
(..continued from our e-mail yesterday..)
(7) Following the Prophet’s example in the case of anger:
The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) is our leader and has set the highest example in this matter, as is recorded in a number of ahaadeeth. One of the most famous was reported by Anas, may ALLAH be pleased with him, who said: "I was walking with the Messenger of ALLAH (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam), and he was wearing a Najraani cloak with a rough collar. A Bedouin came and seized him roughly by the edge of his cloak, and I saw the marks left on his neck by the collar. Then the Bedouin ordered him to give him some of the wealth of ALLAH that he had. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) turned to him and smiled, then ordered that he should be given something." (Agreed upon. Fath al-Baari, 10/375)
The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) is our leader and has set the highest example in this matter, as is recorded in a number of ahaadeeth. One of the most famous was reported by Anas, may ALLAH be pleased with him, who said: "I was walking with the Messenger of ALLAH (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam), and he was wearing a Najraani cloak with a rough collar. A Bedouin came and seized him roughly by the edge of his cloak, and I saw the marks left on his neck by the collar. Then the Bedouin ordered him to give him some of the wealth of ALLAH that he had. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) turned to him and smiled, then ordered that he should be given something." (Agreed upon. Fath al-Baari, 10/375)
Another way in which we can follow the example of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) is by making our anger for the sake of ALLAH , when His rights are violated. This is the kind of anger which is praiseworthy. So the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) became angry when he was told about the imaam who was putting people off the prayer by making it too long; when he saw a curtain with pictures of animate creatures in ‘Aa’ishah’s house; when Usaamah spoke to him about the Makhzoomi woman who had been convicted of theft, and he said "Do you seek to intervene concerning one of the punishments prescribed by ALLAH?"; when he was asked questions that he disliked, and so on. His anger was purely for the sake of ALLAH .
(8) Knowing that resisting anger is one of the signs of righteousness (taqwaa):
The righteous (al-muttaqoon) are those praised by ALLAH in the Qur’aan and by His Messenger (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam). Paradise as wide as heaven and earth has been prepared for them. One of their characteristics is that they (interpretation of the meaning) "spend (in ALLAH’s Cause) in prosperity and in adversity, [they] repress anger, and [they] pardon men; verily, ALLAH loves al-muhsinoon (the good-doers)." [Aal ‘Imraan 3:134]
These are the ones whose good character and beautiful attributes and deeds ALLAH has mentioned, and whom people admire and want to emulate. One of their characteristics is that (interpretation of the meaning) ". . . when they are angry, they forgive." [al-Shooraa 42:47]
(9) Listening to reminders:
Anger is a part of human nature, and people vary in their anger. It may be difficult for a man not to get angry, but sincere people will remember ALLAH when they are reminded, and they will not overstep the mark. Some examples follow:
Ibn ‘Abbaas (may ALLAH be pleased with him) reported that a man sought permission to speak to ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may ALLAH be pleased with him), then he said: "O son of al-Khattaab, you are not giving us much and you are not judging fairly between us." ‘Umar (may ALLAH be pleased with him) was so angry that he was about to attack the man, but al-Hurr ibn Qays, who was one of those present, said: "O Ameer al-Mu’mineen, ALLAH said to His Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) (interpretation of the meaning): ‘Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish’ [al-A’raaf 7:199]. This man is one of the foolish." By ALLAH, ‘Umar could go no further after al-Hurr had recited this aayah to him, and he was a man who was careful to adhere to the Book of ALLAH . (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 4/304).
This is how the Muslim should be. The evil munaafiq (hypocrite) was not like this when he was told the hadeeth of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) and one of the Companions said to him, "Seek refuge with ALLAH from the Shaytaan." He said to the one who reminded him, "Do you think I am crazy? Go away!" (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 1/465). We seek refuge with ALLAH from failure.
(10) Knowing the bad effects of anger:
The negative effects of anger are many; in short they cause damage to one’s own self and to others. The angry person may utter words of slander and obscenity; he may attack others (physically) in an uncontrolled manner, even to the point of killing. The following story contains a valuable lesson:
‘Ilqimah ibn Waa’il reported that his father (may ALLAH be pleased with him) told him: "I was sitting with the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) when a man came to him leading another man by a rope. He said, ‘O Messenger of ALLAH, this man killed my brother.’ The Messenger of ALLAH (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) asked him, ‘Did you kill him?’ He said, ‘Yes, I killed him.’ He asked, ‘How did you kill him?’ He said, ‘He and I were hitting a tree to make the leaves fall, for animal feed, and he slandered me, so I struck him on the side of the head with an axe, and killed him.’ . . ." (Reported by Muslim, 1307, edited by al-Baaqi).
Anger could lead to less than killing, such as wounding and breaking bones. If the one who caused the anger runs away, the angry person turns his anger in on himself, so he may tear his clothes, or strike his cheeks, or have a fit, or fall unconscious, or he may break dishes and plates, or break furniture.
In the worst cases, anger results in social disasters and the breaking of family ties, i.e., divorce. Ask many of those who divorced their wives, and they will tell you: it was in a moment of anger. This divorce results in misery for the children, regret and frustration, a hard and difficult life, all as a result of anger. If they had remembered ALLAH, come to their senses, restrained their anger and sought refuge with ALLAH , none of this would have happened. Going against the sharee’ah (Islamic law) only results in loss.
The damage to health that results from anger can only be described by doctors, such as thrombosis, high blood pressure, tachycardia (abnormally rapid heartbeat) and hyperventilation (rapid, shallow breathing), which can lead to fatal heart attacks, diabetes, etc. We ask ALLAH for good health.
(11) The angry person should think about himself during moments of anger:
If the angry person could see himself in the mirror when he is angry, he would hate himself and the way he looks. If he could see the way he changes, and the way his body and limbs shake, how his eyes glare and how out of control and crazy his behaviour is, he would despise himself and be revolted by his own appearance. It is well-known that inner ugliness is even worse than outer ugliness; how happy the Shaytaan must be when a person is in this state! We seek refuge with ALLAH from the Shaytaan and from failure.
(12) Du’aa’ (Supplication):
Du’aa’ is always the weapon of the believer, whereby he asks ALLAH to protect him from evil, trouble and bad behaviour and seeks refuge with Him from falling into the pit of kufr (disbelief) or wrongdoing because of anger. One of the three things that can help save him is: being fair at times of contentment and of anger (Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3039). One of the du’aa’s of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) was:
"O ALLAH , by Your knowledge of the Unseen and Your power over Your creation, keep me alive for as long as You know life is good for me, and cause me to die when You know death is good for me. O ALLAH, I ask You to make me fear You in secret and in public, and I ask You to make me speak the truth in times of contentment and of anger. I ask You not to let me be extravagant in poverty or in prosperity. I ask You for continuous blessings, and for contentment that does not end. I ask You to let me accept Your decree, and for a good life after death. I ask You for the joy of seeing Your face and for the longing to meet You, without going through diseases and misguiding fitnah (trials). O ALLAH , adorn us with the adornment of faith and make us among those who are guided. Praise be to ALLAH , the Lord of the Worlds."
With Best Wishes
